Join My Pity Party?

WARNING: This entry is going to have lots of groaning and moaning and may sound bitter. But, hey, guess what mood I'm in?? If you're looking to read something funny or optimistic, re-route yourself to my "snake man" entry. It seems to be a hit.

I've been studying for 12 hours straight now, and I have about 6 more hours to go. Then, I'll get to go to sleep only to wake up 4-5 hours later and start the whole process all over again.

All I've eaten today is a six-inch ham and turkey sub from Subway and 4 large Monster energy drinks. I started feeling a little "unwell" so I looked at that tiny writing on the cans. "Consume Responsibly - Limit 3 Cans Per Day." Oh, well. Even though I've pretty much lost my will to live in the past two days, I do plan on toning down the "energy" drinks so I can make it to Mini 1 alive. Once I post this, I'm going to go grab some food or something. My brain officially turned to mush 1 hour ago and my body wants to jump on board. 7 days and counting til I can feel the joy in life again.

I know how morbid, depressing, and cynical this all sounds, but exams in medical school are freakin' awful. You should see everyone on campus. There's barely a smile and we're all looking pretty haggered. I'm pretty sure some people haven't slept or showered in days. I was in the bathroom by the library today and noticed there were no mirrors above the sink. I guess some people don't know just how rough they're looking. Not me though - I look beautiful. Ha ha ha..

All the first semesters are especially freaking out. After all, this is our first medical school exam. Some people keep telling us not to stress so much. They say everyone does bad on Mini 1. I met one guy who says he failed two sections of his Mini 1, and he was able to bounce back and get B's in those classes. I don't want to be that guy. I don't want to fail anything, and I don't want to spend the rest of the semester trying to claw my way out of the pit of failure. We have to do well on every exam - especially this one.

I really question these exams and the material on these exams. Some of our professors are teaching and testing us as though we are in PhD programs in Biochemistry, Histology, and Anatomy. We have gone to the depths of everything. We have learned EVERY single detail involved in EVERYTHING. There is so much information; it's hard to see the surface anymore. I know medical school shouldn't be easy but come on! They never let up on us for a second.

I know Ross is hard on us because they have to be. As foreign medical school graduates, we're going to face a lot of judgment. People will think we're not real doctors or that we're not as well-taught or trained as US doctors. We not only have to be just as good as US grads, we have to be better if we want to get ahead. Even though school is REALLY tough right now, if we can make it, I know we'll make great doctors. If I make it out of here, I challenge anyone to say that I'm not prepared for a medical career. Because believe me, Ross throws everything they have at us.

When the going gets tough, the tough get going, right? On that note, I have to get back to work. I hope I didn't scare you all. I'm sorry mini-me has taken over my thoughts and fingers. Happy me will return in a few days. Regardless of the outcome of the exam, you'll find a much more relieved and relaxed me come Monday afternoon.

Just keep us all in your prayers!